Languages of love

Today I pick up an idea that I found really interesting about love. The author of this book, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a love language, a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own.

Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive. We all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

The Five Love Languages has helped countless couples identify practical and powerful ways to express love, simply by using the appropriate love language. Many husbands and wives who had spent years struggling through marriages they thought were loveless, discovered one or both spouses had long been showing love through messages that werenít getting through. By recognizing their different love languages, they witnessed the rebirth of the love they thought had been gone for good.

Words of Affirmation
Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, I love you, are important, hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, I love you, like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on stand by makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful

Receiving Gifts
Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous so would the absence of everyday gestures

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an Acts of Service person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: Let me do that for you. Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter

Physical Touch
This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face, they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive

Which is your love language? Do you see the gap when expressing love?