Wednesday, February 24, 2010

learning basics in the University?

I was happy to read the enormous success that Tal Ben-Shahar achieved in 2006. You can read more about it here: The most popular course at Harvard this semester teaches happiness
I think that the idea of teaching hapiness is interesting and I was wondering, if it is possible and demonstrated, as it is, that hapiness rarely depends on external stimuli, how is it that we don't get such education early in life?

Here Ben-Shahar's 6 tips to reach Happiness, they seem basic, easy, but do we really consider them?
  1. Give yourself permission to be human. When we accept emotions — such as fear, sadness, or anxiety — as natural, we are more likely to overcome them. Rejecting our emotions, positive or negative, leads to frustration and unhappiness.
  2. Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable. When this is not feasible, make sure you have happiness boosters, moments throughout the week that provide you with both pleasure and meaning.
  3. Keep in mind that happiness is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account. Barring extreme circumstances, our level of well being is determined by what we choose to focus on (the full or the empty part of the glass) and by our interpretation of external events. For example, do we view failure as catastrophic, or do we see it as a learning opportunity?
  4. Simplify! We are, generally, too busy, trying to squeeze in more and more activities into less and less time. Quantity influences quality, and we compromise on our happiness by trying to do too much.
  5. Remember the mind-body connection. What we do — or don't do — with our bodies influences our mind. Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and healthy eating habits lead to both physical and mental health.
  6. Express gratitude, whenever possible. We too often take our lives for granted. Learn to appreciate and savor the wonderful things in life, from people to food, from nature to a smile.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

ideas worth spreading

Today I bring a suggestion for your favourites. TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) is a private nonprofit foundation devoted to what it calls "ideas worth spreading", widely known because its conferences and Talks of a various number of subjects.
I truly encourage curious to have a look at it, especially for those who look for inspiration
And I want to share today one of the latest videos (November 2009, India) with Sendhil Mullainathan, a must.

And I leave you with R. Buckminister Fuller quote: You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete (Thanks Art)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Validation

This is a video about aknowledging, about seeing people (truly SEEING people), and it is amazing how people is shocked by it.



Question is: do we really SEE the people around? Do we aknowledge them? Are we aware of the incredible value in it of doing so?

Monday, February 15, 2010

Languages of love

Today I pick up an idea that I found really interesting about love. The author of this book, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a love language, a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own.

Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive. We all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

The Five Love Languages has helped countless couples identify practical and powerful ways to express love, simply by using the appropriate love language. Many husbands and wives who had spent years struggling through marriages they thought were loveless, discovered one or both spouses had long been showing love through messages that werenít getting through. By recognizing their different love languages, they witnessed the rebirth of the love they thought had been gone for good.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, I love you, are important, hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, I love you, like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on stand by makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful

Receiving Gifts

Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous so would the absence of everyday gestures

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an Acts of Service person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: Let me do that for you. Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter

Physical Touch

This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face, they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive

Which is your love language? Do you see the gap when expressing love?

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Saint Valentine

I don't believe in Saint Valentine, but still today, like any other day, is a great opportunity to say to those we love that we do

I picked up two scenes I love from cinema and TV

Seen in Brothers and Sisters, Kevin and Scotty



And the second one with this beautiful poem, was taken from Four Weddings and a Funeral and was seen here

W.H. AUDEN

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

And the question is: what makes it so difficult to express love?

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Invictus

It may be obvious to speak about Mandela now, but I am moved, and it really worths sharing.


And I love when he says:

How do we inspire ourselves to greatness when nothing less will do? How do we inspire those around us?”



INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menac of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Stay hungry, stay foolish

This video is a classic. It inspirational and I love to see it again and again

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Carpe Diem

Do not let the day end without having grown a bit,
without having been happy, without having increased your dreams.
Do not be overcome by discouragement.
Do not let anyone take away the right to express yourself,
that is a must.
Do not abandon the urge to make your life extraordinary.
Do not stop believing that words and poetry
they can change the world.
Whatever happens, our essence remains intact.
We are human beings full of passion. 
Life is desert and oasis, 
brings us down, hurts,
teaches us,
makes us the main characters
of our own history.
Even though the wind blows against,
the powerful play goes on:
You can contribute a verse.
Never give up dreaming,
because dreams free men.
Do not fall into the worst mistake:
silence.
Most live in a dreadful silence.
Do not resign.
Flee.
"I scream on the roofs of this world"
says the poet.
Value the beauty of simple things.
You can make beautiful poetry about little things,
but we can not row against ourselves.
That makes life a living hell. 
Enjoy the panic that provokes you
have the life ahead.
Live it intensely,
without mediocrity.
Think that you are the future
and face the task with pride and without fear.
Learn from those who can teach you.
The experiences of those before us
of our "dead poets"
help us walk through life
Today's society are: 
the "living poets."
Do not let life happen without living it...

Monday, February 8, 2010

6 Human Needs

Tony Robbins is an American self-help author and motivational speaker and I was recently told about his theory on the 6 Human Needs (an evolution of Maslow's pyramid) He believes everyone is - or can be - motivated by their desire to fulfill these needs.

1. Certainty/Comfort. We all want comfort. And much of this comfort comes from certainty. Of course there is no ABSOLUTE certainty, but we want certainty the car will start, the water will flow from the tap when we turn it on and the currency we use will hold its value.

2. Variety. At the same time we want certainty, we also crave variety. Paradoxically, there needs to be enough UNcertainty to provide spice and adventure in our lives.

3. Significance. Deep down, we all want to be important. We want our life to have meaning and significance. I can imagine no worse a death than to think my life didn't matter.

4. Connection/Love. It would be hard to argue against the need for love. We want to feel part of a community. We want to be cared for and cared about.

5. Growth. There could be some people who say they don't want to grow, but I think they're simply fearful of doing so—or perhaps NOT doing so. To become better, to improve our skills, to stretch and excel may be more evident in some than others, but it's there.

6. Contribution. The desire to contribute something of value—to help others, to make the world a better place than we found it is in all of us.

Evaluate this list to better understand your personal motivations and examine which ones seem the most significant to you. Then, look at what you do to fulfill the needs of others. It will likely make a difference in what and how you do what you do. It also should make a difference in the way you describe and explain what you can do.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

The emotions and how to take advantage of them

1. Anger / rage

Its function is to give you enough energy to do vigorous action to help you overcome obstacles and difficulties. 
 If you are someone who gets angry very often it means that you perceive your surroundings filled with impediments, obstacles, annoyances and obstructions. Recommendation: The obstacles are not a nuisance: they help to master here. Learn how to take adversity like your teacher or refine your leadership skills if you see people as obstacles to get what you want or do not perform under the standards you want. 
 


2. Fear / Insecurity

Prepares you to face a threat. There are real threats: if you warn that your office is on fire, this emotion will prepare you to flee. 
 But when the environment is disproportionate, it means you see yourself below meet the challenges or problems. Or that the consequences of a decision you make beyond your perceived ability that they can be handled properly. And the effect of inhibiting you, or worse, falling paralyzes you into inaction. Recommendation: work with your self-esteem. Strengthen your self-concept or image. Focus on your talents, not your flaws. Results: Projects strong leadership, powerful, proactive.

3. Sadness / depression

This emotion helps you prepare to assume a significant loss or frustrated expectations. When prolonged, it means you live under constant job dissatisfaction (or personal). Recommendation: Dry your tears, releasing the pain this caused you, otherwise you will begin to perceive the world full of bitterness and you will be paralyzed, making the problem worse. Begin to begin, but using a different formula. Don't ever do the same because you get the same results. If you have trouble this step, ask for help. Results: reflect an optimistic and creative leadership.

4. Concern:

Can concentrate all your skills and creativity in solving a challenge or problem. If you are worried constantly, it means that you receive too many situations or challenges such as work or personal circumstances over which you have no influence or control, so most likely you're under constant stress or anxiety. Recommendation: faced with a challenge or problem, take some time to think about its possible causes and solutions. Define your strategy and undertake good roads required that you dictate your experience and common sense. 
 Focus on the implementation of actions decided. Although it seems contradictory, I recommend that you psychologically free yourself of the outcome you expect. Results: exercised leadership serene, freer and more creative. 
 


5. Apathy / lack of motivation / laziness

These emotions have the function to let you know that you're offline, you perform tasks that have no real meaning for you or that the road will no longer have. They can also indicate that the target to achieve're watching or too far or that requires you plenty of time to get it. 
 Recommendation: Learn to identify personal gains in everything you undertake. It does not mean you become a stakeholder. Simply learn to look for personal reasons that will generate the enthusiasm you need to perform your tasks. If the goal or end result to make it look very far or very hard to get, get goals achievable in the short term the sum of which take you to the end result you want. Result: Your leadership will be more energetic and enthusiastic. You'll be more motivated by achieving results in the short term though they are small. Project your momentum to your team and begin to influence them in subtle ways, by example rather than words.

6. Shame.

Its function is to point out to a behavior has been morally unacceptable. This is healthy because it helps to put limits on your behavior and avoid taking what does not correspond or what you have not won. 
 However, there is a "psychological embarrassment," which is not justified.Recommendation: work to strengthen your self-esteem, acceptance of yourself and expand your sense of entitlement. Results: exercised strong leadership will be more visible and you're ready to take on challenges with more confidence in yourself. This will make you stand out and attract more opportunities to succeed. 
 He who perseveres reaches. If you need help to solve any of these situations, ask for it.

Use your emotional intelligence and expand your horizons!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

who are we? and who I am?

The day we first asked ourselves this question is a very important day, the beginning of a trip. 
The say that a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. 
Which are my fears, or what is more, where is my ignorance and inconsciousness? 
The day I realized I wanted to stop losing myself into the outside world, trying, nonsense things to fill in the emptyness I gave my first step. 
I choose not to fill what is missing but to learn to accept it.
And I dare to do that facing myself and my thougths. 
Who I am? I am charm and smiles. I get easily bored, and I have trouble getting habits fixed. I am a fighter. I am not afraid of looking inside and I do invite you to do so. Who are you?